An Existangential Post

Existangential (adj.) - A thought that begins on an existential note, but soon goes off on a tangent.


"Hey"
"Hey"
"Are you alright? You look like crap"
(beat) "Seriously? That's what you're leading with?"
"What? I cant make one self referential joke now?"
"oh by all means. I'm your blog. Make as many as you like. In fact, I bet you will."
"oh, I also bet I will. Anyhow, why so serious?"
"I dont know, dude. I just ... I'm not sure if I should continue or not"
"What? Where is this coming from?"
"I dont know man. Blogs are ended / stopped all the time. Haven't really published anything in a while. I'm starting to doubt why I exist in the first place."

Walter Sparrow: I once read that the only philosophical question that matters is whether or not to commit suicide. I guess that makes me a philosopher.

"Why did you start, ..er.. existing?"
"It was just one of those things. Hark! 'twas done on a lark. It was done because a status message wasn't enough. Because nobody on my friends list would understand (or be interested in) my obscure references, and I wanted to see if anyone out there would. For example, if anyone would google the following and land up here to revel in our mutual Kaufman obsession -

.... of events can be approached either from behind or above. In other words, all pluralities must be tethered to a consequence or the "rotation" of the event sequence will be uninflected and the locator axis (a, ab, abx...) will be an unapproachable phenomenology. Furthermore each sequential variable will be prohibited from interacting, creating a casual decimation and resulting in the profligation of at least three unendurable practicalities.

... beyond that I dont know. Why do you exist?"

"Me? Mesa 'man', yousa 'blog', and a lame-ass one at that."
"You and I aren't that different, you know."
"oh?"
"yes, oh. See, I stop writing, I cease to exist. You stop living, you cease to exist. I write drafts , and dont publish them. You live with yourself, and don't interact much with others. Most of the time I sedately consume instead of restlessly producing; and you live your life on auto pilot, going through the motions. You live for the self (rather than for God and others) and I write for myself rather than anyone who might venture here. Just as it is stupid of me to want to write (not funny, but rather) funnier than other blogs, its stupid of you to want to earn more than some random moron. You hate yourself, I hate all that I write. So the real question isn't why I want to stop. It is, why don't you?"
"Well, I love my sedate consuming, thank you very much"
"Bah"
"Look. Frankl said -

We can discover meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.

..And all three are perfectly applicable. "

"Yeah, but what if I hate all the works I create?"
"..."
"..."
"(vocal turntable) oh I hate / all the works / I create / all the jerks / ideate / call the ..."
"what the ... what in pluperfect hell are you doing?"
"you know ... i... i'm just ... quick ... give me something that rhymes with 'tangent' "
"dear lord"

Freud, Groucho, Allen, Gatsby, Yorke, Costanza, and yet ...

Alvy Singer: The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member

True for all relationships, actually. If you want me, then i don't want you. Its the Power Number theory.

A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: "There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired"

In every relationship, there will be a pursuer (?) and a pursued. The person with the lower power number would want to be around the person with the higher power number, crave his acceptance and approval. The person with the HPN would tolerate the person with the LPN till he becomes cumbersome.

You will be dispensed with
When you've become inconvenient

The person with the LPN would initiate all the calls, exclaim all the "Its been so long!"s, and "lets get together and hang"s. The person with the HPN would be excused all usual social impolitenesses. A person with a LPN than you asks for a favor and you can easily decline, but a person with a HPN asks for anything and you must oblige. Like Seinfeld walking her ex-girlfriend's dog.

But there's no escaping it because you pull the same crap with people with a LPN than you.

George Costanza: Aah! what's the point. When I like them, they don't like me; when they like me, I don't like them