Alvy Singer: The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.
I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member
True for all relationships, actually. If you want me, then i don't want you. Its the Power Number theory.
A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: "There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired"
In every relationship, there will be a pursuer (?) and a pursued. The person with the lower power number would want to be around the person with the higher power number, crave his acceptance and approval. The person with the HPN would tolerate the person with the LPN till he becomes cumbersome.
You will be dispensed with
When you've become inconvenient
The person with the LPN would initiate all the calls, exclaim all the "Its been so long!"s, and "lets get together and hang"s. The person with the HPN would be excused all usual social impolitenesses. A person with a LPN than you asks for a favor and you can easily decline, but a person with a HPN asks for anything and you must oblige. Like Seinfeld walking her ex-girlfriend's dog.
But there's no escaping it because you pull the same crap with people with a LPN than you.
George Costanza: Aah! what's the point. When I like them, they don't like me; when they like me, I don't like them
Thursday, September 24, 2009
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9 comments:
That does perfectly encapsulate most people for you. Even I've thought this same thing about myself so many times.
This is the sort of post I'd try to write, thank you for putting into words exactly what I'm thinking.
not the reaction i expected (not that i expected any reaction in the first place) but pleasantly surprised on both counts.
someone i respect immensely had other views. (more in line with what i expected). "that is such an unhealthy way of looking at things. don't you think there are relationships where two people mutually like each other and cherish their love?"
i guess. i just want to focus on the fact that i ill-treat some people and feel shitty when the ones that i like ill-treat me. and i want to convince myself that they are not the same situations, the same cases. but i'm not sure.
The way it works with me is, if I'm lucky enough to be with someone I like, Im scared of getting hurt and abused (I like them, I'll submit to them), so I'd rather not be with them.
If on the other hand, the other person is in like me, then I have the upper hand and sure enough the abuse starts, and then I begin thinking this guy is not worth it, hes too stupid, to easy to make fun of, not up to scratch and therefore not good enough for a spitfire like me the only reason he likes me is that he's too stupid to understand me.
and I guess this encapsulates most people with low self esteem, or people going through personal crises of sorts where they're very protective of their identity and character.
I think true love does exist, but dammit I want to have some fun along the way too.
i guess i agree with much of what you said, though i was actually talking about relationships in general. you've taken one specific kind of relationship; the potentially romantic guy-girl relationship. For that particular one, my views are somewhat like the lyrics of the ghazal, 'ranjish hi sahi'
and so, non-reciprocity by someone you like would absolutely kill you, but you would not be scared of such 'hurt and abuse', and would still rather be around them. Liking them would be an end in itself.
An extreme, but still valid, case of that is Donald Kaufman's in 'Adaptation' -
http://letsjusteatcheese.wordpress.com/2009/08/03/adaptation-is-a-profound-process-means-you-figure-out-how-to-thrive-in-the-world/
And on the other hand, 'not being fun' is at least a reason that I can respect; because, for the other one, maybe, 'the guy only likes the girl because he's too stupid to actually understand her', or maybe, he sees in her stuff that even she doesn't see yet.
but, i pontificate about stuff i know nothing about... In the end its all Richard Curtis and Nora Ephron's fault. They are the ones saying, "Sure. Your random blabber, though boring and inconsequential to all else, would be found as 152 insights into their soul by the right person"
i'm assuming this is a stupid question going by the fact that you never link your blog when you comment, but what do you say to my blogrolling you?
there was actually one specific reason for not linking the blog whenever i commented on yours. basically it was sort of like - "If Relationship George walks through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, Cannot Stand!"
but since one must move past one's neuroses, i'd say, "Thank you. That will be nice. Yes is being my answer. Easy question."
worry not! I expect neither love nor laundry duties from one who I have blogrolled. In fact, very many of those on my blogroll are unaware of my existence. Feel free to criticise my work as loudly and frequently as you wish, this is an open relationship ;)
blogroll modification shall be done forthwith.
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